


DADA curriculum

by Nobodystormcrow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actually competent DADA teachers, Chinese Standarized tests to inspect, Diary/Journal, Gen, How to survive a real-life duel, Humor, This teacher is unholily, gleeful when giving Umbridge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-09 18:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11110584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodystormcrow/pseuds/Nobodystormcrow
Summary: "These children are determined to help in the war effort. Many of them genuinely believe that they are in mortal danger, while others will follow their friends and family out of loyalty. It will be difficult, if not impossible to stop all of them, so if they will rush into battle, they should at least be trained to survive the encounter."Anonymous DADA teacher's curriculum, if Dumbledore managed to hire a competent DADA teacher in Order of the Phoenix. Basically, if students had to come out of school capable of protecting themselves, and the teacher decided to train them in fighting, not dueling.Umbridge comes to school as Hogwarts High Inquisitor in the later chapters, and gets her just desserts.





	1. Chapter 1

Class Rules:

1.There shall be complete participation in class, with these stipulations:

   a.Every student is to attend class unless unusual circumstances prevent them from doing so, in which case, I shall be provided with a written excuse.

   b.If a student finds course material too simple, I will, with consideration to circumstance, permit personal study, and provide additional lessons if requested.

   c.If a student finds the coursework too difficult, I shall also provide additional tutoring.

2.No conversations or complaints during the first part of class. As the first twenty minutes of each class are for the explanation of the activities performed, including such things as safety regulations and proper methods, distractions will be inimical to your health and safety.

3.No reading of irrelevant material in class. Such materials include, but are not limited to:

   a.Magazines. Example: Witch Weekly

   b.Novels: Romance, Action, Drama etc.

   c.Comics: Example: The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle

   d.Textbooks from other classes. If you find your circumstance unique, you may bring it up, and disregard this rule once given permission. HOWEVER, this does not give you any right to do so without permission. Those who disregard this rule shall be severely punished.

4.Homework shall be written and handed in on time.

5.Complaints and suggestions may be given in the form of properly structured paragraphs, essays, or filled forms.

Course Aims:

1.Sufficient understanding and experience of basic combat to survive in a real-life situation.

2.Sufficient Skill of using Defensive Magic in real life situations. Including the ability to instinctively cast at least forty percent of the spells learned.

3.Sufficient understanding and experience of Defensive Magic to successfully pass Defense Against the Dark Arts OWLs.


	2. Week One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simple stuff

Objectives:  
1\. Learning physical aspects of non-magic related combat, with a focus on dodging, aim being a secondary goal.  
2\. Beginning to build endurance, agility, and speed, as well as reaction times, observation capabilities, and simple subconscious trajectory calculation.  
3\. Defensive Spells, Fifth Year.  
4\. Battlefield healing.  
5\. Revision of First Year material.  
Methods:  
1\. Dodging practice. Will begin with single opponent, and single target. Will increase targets and opponents gradually. Will switch partners regularly to prevent complacency and adequate knowledge of one style allowing for bypassing the need to observe.  
Will encourage humiliating spells. As students progress, will relax ban on spells that cause harm to body.  
2\. Jogging, every class, 1 kilometer under 2 minutes.  
3\. Basic casting first, then practical usage.  
4\. ON whatever injuries are caused.  
5\. Assign Essays, and use final 10 minutes. May consider Pop Quizzes to ensure that students do well.


	3. Class One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first class, some common sense concerning Cedric Diggory's death, and the instillation of suspicion towards the Ministry. This teacher is far more warlike and pragmatic than Dumbledore.

I have finished my four classes with the Fifth Years--Potter's year. A summer of Ministry propaganda has not endeared Potter to his year-mates, nor has it made them more open to the idea of the Adversary (Voldemort, AKA Tom Riddle) becoming once again, a danger to the health, safety, life, and liberty of Wizarding, and possibly Muggle Britain. I say only Britain though, for though he is ambitious, he has not the sight, nor the charisma of Grindelwald (and they say Slytherin is the House of the Ambitious! More accurate a descriptor would be the House of Social Conformists).

The Hufflepuffs lost one of their number last year, so they are, of the four Houses, the ones who now have undergone, most intimately, the revelation of their vulnerability, and so, feeling, for the first time for most, their own mortality. I am not yet so cynical, as to think that it would be best for all people to know of their own insignificance--for one, my job would change greatly, and I prefer the luxury of familiarity.

To my advantage, is A) the manner of Diggory's death, as the Killing Curse is quite unique in its effects upon the body, and B) the Ministry-puppeted _Prophet_ calling Diggory's death a "tragic accident"

Therefore, I began all my classes with the instilling of a sense of urgency, the knowledge that one is not safe, to justify my slightly military educational methods (much milder than those I was taught under), with the bonus of a making them distrust the Ministry. Despite Fudge's measures, or perhaps because of them, his greatest fears are coming true--a self-fulfilling prophecy, as is the wont of the short-sighted ignorant, how ironic.

Below is the template I used for each class.

Narrative

_Spoken_

**Written**

[Notes]

First, a speech.

 _Let us start with a review of last year's material_ [For first years, instead of "last year's material" I said "your summer homework" _._ [ From my research, the false Alastor Moody, Barty Crouch Jr, used the same curriculum for all years. I must admit, if every teacher was expected to do that, then Dumbledore's hiring choices seem a lot less questionable] _Identify the cause of death for this victim. There are no signs that the cause of death was penetrating trauma, i.e. ballistic wounds, stab wounds, bullet wounds, other projectiles, blunt force trauma of any sort, neither contusions, lacerations, abrasions or bone fractures, nor avulsions, including avulsion fractures, blast injuries, internal bleeding, crush injury, needlestick injury, catastrophic injury, i.e. severe injury to the spine, spinal cord, or brain, repetitive strain injury or other strain injury; also absent are radiation poisoning, frostbite, burns--either caused by heat, nor cold, nor electricity, nor chemicals neither organic or inorganic, neither acid nor base, nor friction, nor radiation, including microwave radiation, radiation-induced lung injury; no traces have been detected of toxins, natural or artificial, muggle or magical, nor of their effects--teratogenic, respiratory, gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, hepatic, renal, or neurological, nor has there been any sign of biological agents that may have caused the victim's death, neither bacterial, viral, or of prion proteins. Nor has any malignant abnormal cell growth been detected. The cause of death is also not one of the following: dehydration, starvation, electrocution, mental manipulation, exsanguination, inflammation--infection, damage to circulation, a stroke, cardiac arrest or asphyxiation._ [ Most of these causes of death were the result of simple research, but the point was to emphasize what the cause of death was _not_ , and to put these ~~subjects~~ students off guard]

_Now, what do you think the cause of death was?_

The class [invariably] stares.

[Those who are surprised enough to make noise require special attention to train the trait out of them. If they make a sound while hidden, it could prove lethal.]

A few students raise their hands.

[Miss Fawley, Slytherin, was the only first year to raise a hand. I awarded her 20 points. [This may cause students from so-called Dark Families to be willing to show off, and give me some idea of the current situation.]

Three Slytherin and two Ravenclaw second years.

Three Slytherin, three Ravenclaw, and one each of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff from the third year.

Of fourth years, [I am given to understand that Miss Weasley is an associate of Mr. Potter, and it was only natural for her to know, and her close friendship with Luna Lovegood may have resulted in Miss Lovegood's knowledge, even if she behaves rather absentmindedly. More worryingly, three-quarters of this year's Slytherins raised their hands. I suspect family education in Dark Magic. Possible sign of DE affiliation? Or merely Slytherin pragmatism? Must be careful.

Also: according to Prof. Dumbledore, Miss Weasley was possessed by the Dairy Horcrux--one half of the Adversary's soul. Residual knowledge may be useful, if she is not repressing trauma. (Behavior does not point to trauma though)]

Mr. Potter and his two friends obviously raised their hands, and two others did too. Over ten Ravenclaws did. Five Hufflepuff fifth years did too. Only a few Slytherins did not. [Hypothesis: DE affiliation was supported by most of knowledgeable students having familial connections with known or suspected Death Eaters.]

Six, Seventh years: Marked increase in raised hands in all houses. Chang seems to be dealing with her boyfriend's death ill. A target and a tangible entity to blame may help.]

Students ultimately mange to guess the killing curse.

(Some of the previous suggestions were very inventive. One suggested a demon taking the victim's soul. Wrong, Hellhounds drag souls to Hell at the orders of demons, and they are always very messy, and even if a demon did personally collect a soul, there would be a mark. Another student thought it was a Fae taking a life [less than possible, considering Fae don't officially exist [I might pretend to be one though]. A good guess was that the victim suffered the Dementor's Kiss. That was almost possible, but Dementors do leave signs of frostbite and drowning on their victims, [rather like Samara Morgan of the _Ring_ movies, come to think of it ].)

Then I continue.

 _The victim I described for you was a real person. A student of Hogwarts in fact. His name was Cedric Diggory, of Hufflepuff, one of the two Hogwarts champions last year. He died during the third task, and his body was recovered by the other Hogwarts champion, Harry Potter._ [Titters]

_According to the Ministry, his death was a "tragic accident" but as simple analysis has shown, his death was the product of dark magic, namely the killing curse, although one may argue that a mutated Dementor's Kiss is a feasible alternative. Either way, his death was not an accident, save that it was only by accident that he was present to be killed by his killer._

_So, who killed him? For simplicity's sake, let us assume that the cause of death for Mr. Diggory was the Killing Curse. The Killing Curse requires skill and power to cast, and it would take a certain type of man or woman to be willing to cast it wantonly on a man barely out of boyhood._

_We can therefore safely assume that Mr. Diggory's murder is an experienced killer. The Ministry obviously has not caught him or her, so anyone may be the next victim. Mr. Potter's testimony says that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned, but he has not sought fame or influence, and he disappears away every summer. The Ministry has spent the summer dragging his name through the dirt, and as we can see, the Ministry has also lied about Mr. Diggory's murder, putting everyone at risk due to their hiding the existence of Mr. Diggory's killer._

_I shall leave you to draw your own conclusions from that, but personally, I would be more disposed to believe the side that is not engaging in slander, libel, ridicule or blatant deception, which are often hallmarks of a guilty, scared party._

_In any case, no one is safe from danger. the purpose of this class is defense._

On the board: **Defense**

_Against the Dark Arts, it is named, but Dark Arts, in this context, does not only refer to the select branch of magic known as the Dark Arts, nor the "know it when you see it" classification utilized by the Ministry, but any act or happening, magical or otherwise, that may cause you or any other harm._

_Therefore, in this class, I shall be defining Dark as anything that causes the victim to suffer loss or harm._

**Dark: anything that causes the victim to suffer loss or harm.**

_As a result, we will be covering a wide range of subjects, including physical, magical, and mental defenses, healing, strategic planning, survival, escape, and evasion, teamwork, and negotiation, it is imperative that time is not wasted. To that purpose, you will obey the rules I have set out for this class._

**CLASS RULES**

**1.There shall be complete participation in class, with these stipulations.**

**a. Every student is to attend class unless unusual circumstances prevent them from doing so, in which case, I shall be provided with a written excuse.**

**b. If a student finds course material too simple, I will, with consideration to circumstance, permit personal study, and provide additional lessons if requested.**

**c. If a student finds the coursework too difficult, I shall also provide additional tutoring.**

**2\. No conversations or complaints during the first part of class. As the first twenty minutes of each class are for the explanation of the activities performed, including such things as safety regulations and proper methods, distractions will be inimical to your health and safety.**

**3\. No reading of irrelevant material in class. Such materials include, but are not limited to:**

**a. Magazines. Example: Witch Weekly**

**b. Novels: Romance, Action, Drama etc.**

**c. Comics: Example: The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle.**

**d. Textbooks from other classes. If you find your circumstance unique, you may bring it up, and disregard this rule once given permission. HOWEVER, this does not give you any right to** **do so without permission. Those who disregard this rule shall be severely punished.**

**4\. Homework shall be written and handed in on time.**

**5\. Complaints and suggestions may be given in the form of properly structured paragraphs, essays, or filled forms.**

**Course Aims (in order of importance):**

  1. **Sufficient understanding and experience of basic combat to survive in a real-life situation**
  2. **Sufficient Skill of using Defensive Magic in real life situations. Including the ability to instinctively cast at least forty percent of the spells learned.**
  3. **Sufficient understanding and experience of Defensive Magic to successfully pass Defense Against the Dark Arts OWLs.**



Certain braver and more academically minded students protested the order of importance. [Oddly enough, they focused on #3, while in my opinion, the protestation of the order between #1 & #2 would be more sensible, as that dealt with the usage of magic being less important than understanding basic combat].

I countered by pointing out that survival would be paramount, and assured them that they would all get at least an E in the written exams, while under my tutelage, they would be experienced in most, if not all of the defensive spells they would be tested in, as evidenced by "instinctively cast[ing] at least forty percent of the spells learned"?

[I was also sorely tempted to point them to rule #5, but that seemed a bit too tyrannical.]

Then, we began the first week's lessons.

Apart from the basic healing, speed agility, stamina, and aim, as well as the year's book-learning, and revision, I tailored the course according to age and ability. Though, in optimal circumstances, I will teach all of them everything included below, as well as give them some experience handling firearms.

First and Second Years begin with dirty tactics, lying and hiding. I also taught them to throw rocks. [I am already casting flame-proofing charms on everything I hold dear, including this journal, in preparations for the Howlers I will inevitably receive on account of my students using the skills I taught them for less than proper purposes.]

Third and Fourth Years will learn self-defense, escape, and weapons improvisation first. Rocks again. Not met with the enthusiasm of First and Second Years until I let them use portraits of Gilderoy Lockhart as targets.

Fifth and Sixths Years will have strategy added in, as well as offensive combat.

Seventh Years will be taught negotiation, hand to hand combat, weaponwork and, in select cases, sniping, as well. [why do I have the impression that I am dooming a whole generation of parents?]

Most students reacted in outrage when I informed them that they were expected to start jogging every day, with a weekly exam. I quite kindly only required them to finish 1 kilometer under five minutes. [If I were training operatives from scratch, I would have begun by requiring them to finish under four minutes, or manage 0.8 kilometers in under three and a half minutes, before _increasing_ the distance and the speed requirements. But these children are not to be automatically relegated to the frontline, though since the Adversary has a history with Hogwarts, they will almost certainly be caught up in the fighting, and that's assuming that everyone with a hero complex won't be raring off to fight in the war *cough* Potter *cough*. ]

I suggested that my students find light, form-fitting clothes that do not increase wind resistance [though if they do run in robes, then they';l solve, quite neatly the problem of, my, ah, mercy.], and suitable shoes. Muggle-born/Muggle associating First Years protested the least.

Below are some of the more amusing reactions, recorded for future enjoyment.

Atticus Huang, Hufflepuff Third Year. Muggleborn.

         _I came to Hogwarts to get away from PE!_

Dean Thomas, Gryffindor Fifth Year. Muggleborn

         _Yes! We finally get to have PE! Can we form a football team next?_

Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Fifth Year. Daphne Greengrass, Slytherin Fifth Year. Both Pureblood.

         MALFOY: _We are wizards! There is no reason for us to be engaging in this muggle nonsense!_

         GREENGRASS: _Unless you want to learn underage apparition illegally, you'll have to run and do "a filthy muggle sport" Draco. Besides, running would be a lot better than turning into a ferret to hide in the bushes, don't you think?_

[I suspect some inside joke. Research required.]

Homework for the Fifth Years:

Pages 1-3 of Year One. Self-study and write Page 1 of Year Five in the Workbooks. (Revision: First Year) [Those took the entire bloody summer to research, write and edit.]

Curses. Time for another class. I feel a powerful desire to go back to my normal life of dealing with people I'd be allowed or even expected to kill. Pity that there aren't any hunts. A few animals to kill and clean would do wonders for my temper. Just cleaning them would be good. [Perhaps I should add cooking classes earlier. Best to desensitize the kids to death and gore as soon as possible, with the added advantage of teaching them basic anatomy.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't fit this bit in.  
> I demonstrated that one didn't have to be proficient at spellwork to succesfully win a duel to the Slytherin Seventh Years by knocking a hair ornament off a dozing girl in the last row (up too late last night?) with a piece of chalk.  
> They shrieked, waking the girl (Swan?) I haven't lost my touch then. That's a relief.  
> They shut up quite quickly once I told them to imagine me aiming for the eyes with a knife.  
> Sand'd do in a pinch too.


End file.
